Feminism: Myths VS Reality

Feminist -

Someone who believes in the economic, political and social equality of the sexes. 

When I tell people that I am a feminist I am normally met with a groan of disgust or laughter. I'm not ashamed of being a feminist; I'm a woman, why wouldn't I be in favour of my own rights? That's what feminism is about. I believe, from experience and what people have told me, that some people don't actually know what feminism is, so I thought I would express what it actually is in hopes that some people may reconsider themselves as feminists.
I've known some people who would constantly mock and joke about my views (all boys, by the way). I was annoying for checking them when they were racist, sexist or homophobic. Safe to say that I'm prospering now and they're... not. Anyway, besides the point. They would say jokes that they knew made me uncomfortable, just to get a rise out of me. This was not okay, they were laughing at women and victims. This all came to a blow when they made some horrific jokes about sexual assault - so much so I went to the police.

After that all finished, I wanted to look into why men are constantly trying to belittle and laugh at women. Why do men have such an issue with women wanting equal rights? The short answer is society. For so long men have had the upper hand. Society has always told men that they are more worthy than women, that they are stronger and deserve more. Throughout history, women have been silenced and blocked from doing simple things we don't even think about today, like open a bank account, vote, pain medication for childbirth or own their own land. Unfortunately, some women still cannot do some of these things. That's why I'm a feminist. Women aren't considered equal anywhere in the world, although we do have it different here in western society. My feminism is about helping all women, wherever they are. If this is not your mentality, then you are not a feminist.

Every day I see women breaking that glass ceiling. Women taking over male-dominated areas and conquering all of the stereotypes. You can read my post about how I felt about Jodie Whittaker portraying the first woman Doctor Who here. Women are taking a stand with the amazing #metoo movement. We're not taking any shit anymore. A few months ago I saw a Twitter thread making the rounds that I couldn't ignore. 'What would women do if men weren't allowed out after 9PM?' Brilliant question. What would I do? I would go for more walks on my own, I would probably take up running, I would be able to go outside without having my guard up, I'd be able to be more relaxed whilst I'm out, I would listen to music while I'm on my own walking, I would go out with my friends more. The list is endless. Why can't we do this right now, though? Why do we have to limit ourselves in fear of being assaulted or killed? Why do women get the blame when something unspeakable happens to them? Because the world hates women.

Let's get some things straight. Feminism isn't about being better than men. It isn't about taking over. All we want is to be respected and be treated equally. If you are a man and you feel threatened by this, why? What do you have to lose? We just want to be able to have the same opportunities as you, the same pay as you, the ability to be able to walk down the street without the fear of being attacked.



I ran three polls on Twitter: 'Women, do you consider yourself a feminist?', 'Men, do you consider yourself a feminist?' and 'Do you believe you know what feminism is?'. After asking these questions I lost followers on my Twitter account. Says a lot. People find 'feminism' annoying and militant. Yes, we are militant because people don't listen to us. I have discovered that most people don't actually know what feminism is. So I'm here to bust some feminist myths:

Feminism is just for women - WRONG! Feminism is for equality for everyone. Sure, feminism started as women's rights because women wanted to do basic things like vote. But feminism has changed and evolved over the years. We want everyone to be able to live their lives equally; men, women, trans people, black people, Asian people, LGBT people, Muslims, Palestinians, everyone. Feminists do a lot for men, yet it's non-feminist men that seem to have a lot of opinions against feminists but do nothing for men's wellness...

Men can't be feminists - Not true. Men are welcomed, in fact, we encourage it. As I said in the last point, we just want equality and that includes men. It includes everyone.

Feminism is a witch hunt - No. If you act appropriately around women then you have nothing to worry about. If you don't sexually harass/assault women, then you have nothing to worry about. If you treat women with respect, then you have nothing to worry about. Basically, if you are a decent human being then you have NOTHING to worry about. If you are worried then maybe you aren't as nice as you think you are.

Feminists hate men - Guess what... That's right. It's not true. Feminism is not about man-hating, at all. Yes, some women (a lot of women) find men scary. But can you blame us? It doesn't mean we hate them.

Feminism only helps white women - If your 'feminism' isn't about every single woman on this planet then you are NOT a feminist. Feminism is for everyone. It means standing up and looking out for our black, Asian, Latino, Middle-Eastern and Native sisters. It means using our privilege for some good. It also means helping our Trans sisters, our lesbian and bisexual sisters. Helping women. Period.

Women have the same rights as men - True that in Western society we can vote, drive, own land, have a bank account, have the choice whether or not to be a stay at home Mum. Sure. But many women around the world don't have these privileges. Women in Saudi Arabia still cannot go outside without a male chaperone. Some countries won't allow girls to go to school, women are having their genitals mutilated and their breasts ironed, young girls are forced to marry old men. This needs to change. This isn't to say that Western women are completely free of misogyny, though. 1 in 4 women will be affected by domestic violence in their lifetime, and two women a week are killed by an ex-partner in the UK.


Poster for Mum's display

Did you know, 10% of girls aged 14-21 in the UK can't afford to buy sanitary products? That's right, girls miss school which has an effect on their social skills and obviously their education. Women sometimes have to choose between food or sanitary products. That is disgusting. Girls have had to substitute pads for toilet paper and newspaper. I found out through a friend who works with my local food bank that sanitary products are considered a luxury, and people have to pick one luxury item a week. Other luxury items include shampoo and conditioner and soap. Imagine having to pick between these NECESSITIES.

If you don't know, my Mum is an artist. At the beginning of December last year, my Mum took part in Open Studios - an opportunity for people to buy artwork from artists in their studios, it happens twice a year where my Mum has her studio. As a challenge to herself, my Mum decided to draw and paint 100 women, for the 100 years that we have had the vote in the UK. She has donated 20%, of her earnings from the sales of these women, to buying sanitary products for the girls who can't afford them. We discovered that our local library is a drop-off point, so we are going to take some there and some to our local food bank. If you would like some more information then you can go over to Mum's website here. If you would like to help and donate some products, you can find your local drop-off point here. I really urge you to donate something, even just one will make a difference.

Feminism is a controversial topic when it shouldn't be. Everyone should be a feminist. It is in our best interests. We should be calling out 'fake feminists' and checking their priorities. But also support and educate, otherwise we're not going to get anywhere. Take a stand. I love you.

Bren.

Being young and gay! - The reality of it

I think I have always known I wasn't 100% straight. I remember watching programmes when I was younger and only really paying attention to the girls and thinking they were pretty or I would 'fancy' women on TV more than men. I used to watch Strictly Come Dancing and not  look at the men dancers at all really, I still don't. When I started to realise this I began questioning why I thought like this; am I gay? This question has always played on my mind, I wasn't sure if I was a lesbian or bisexual. 

Throughout my life I always told people I was straight, I felt a bit ashamed I suppose. But towards the last couple years of secondary school a couple of my friends came out and were accepted by people in our friendship group. I thought that if they were accepted then I would be too; so I built up the courage to tell my closest friends I was bisexual. Like I guessed, they were totally cool with it and it was like nothing happened. 

Because of the acceptance of my friendship group I thought about telling my parents. I felt more confident telling my Mum about my sexuality. It wasn't like a sit-down situation, it was just sort of brought up in conversation and that was it really. It was pretty easy, but I knew my Mum would be okay with whatever sexuality I am. Telling my Dad wasn't as easy for me. I was so nervous, I could barely get the words out. I held it off for so long because I wasn't sure what he would say. I knew he wouldn't disown me or anything like that, but there was still something there that was preventing me from telling him. Although it wasn't as easy as telling my Mum, it went down okay and I felt a lot better afterwards. 

I know that I'm one of the really lucky ones, and not all parents are as accepting as mine. So many kids are rejected and shunned by their parents for their sexuality. 24% of the homeless youth in the UK are LGBT+. The main reasons so many young, gay people are homeless is due to parental rejection, abuse from within the family and also aggression. There are many shelters up and down the UK but they're not always easily accessible. Many charities have been set up to help fund shelters and get more LGBT+ youth off the streets and in to a safe environment, including: The Albert Kennedy Trust. 

Rob Stothard—Getty Images

Through a poll I shared I asked a group of LGBT youth how their parents reacted to them coming out and 73% answered that their parents accepted their sexuality and they also get along with them. This is a good statistic and I'm really please that these people had a good coming out experience. 18% answered that their parents accepted their sexuality, but not their gender identity. 

Nearly half of young LGBT+ people have considered suicide in their lives. That is a sad and shocking statistic. Mental health is also a big problem particularly for LGBT+ people as 42% have sought medical help to do with anxiety and also depression. There is a higher risk of mental health problems in young LGBT+ people compared to heterosexual people of the same age. Almost half of under 26 year old transgender people have attempted suicide. Why is mental health such a big issue for LGBT+ youth? Is it due to the lack of mental health support in the UK? Personally it took me over five attempts of talking to a doctor about my own mental health to finally be taken seriously and given the health care I really needed. I believe some people think that the struggles we go through are just trivial things that aren't really a big deal, but this is so far from the truth! 

In some places LGBT+ people still aren't even treated like human beings. Being gay is illegal in 72 countries. That is a huge amount of countries. And in 8 countries gay people can face the death penalty. Can you imagine being sentenced to death just for being in love? It's madness. Besides facing death, gay people can also end up with a 15 year prison sentence in some countries. In 2011 Radio 1 DJ, Scott Mills - an openly gay man - travelled to the African country, Uganda to document the way gay people are treated. At that time a gay person could face 14 years in prison. Many people tried to put forth the death penalty although this was changed to life in prison in 2014. During Mills' time in Uganda he met with anti-gay preachers and also gay people who are in hiding. If caught these people could be sent to prison, or even beaten to death in the street. The documentary is truly eye-opening. I found a version of it on Youtube which I'll link here. Go check it out if you have a chance. I asked a group of young LGBT+ people whether they ever feel the need to hide their sexual identity and every single one of them said yes. 100% said they feel the need to hide who they are. That is so incredibly saddening. 

Quotesgram.com

80% of LGBT+ people who have experience a hate crime due to their sexuality didn't report it to the police. Young people are also the least likely to report a hate crime because they feel that the authorities don't take their issues seriously. Seems to be a reoccurring situation that LGBT+ people aren't taken seriously. Youtuber Timmy Timato (23) made a video 3 years ago talking about a homophobic attack him and his boyfriend experienced in a shopping mall in America. In the video Timmy said that him and his partner were on an ascending escalator sharing a kiss, and on the descending escalator was a man who then started to shout homophobic comments at them. 'I'm glad we were on different escalators and safe because I don't know what would've happened, he seemed so angry.' Timmy also mentions that the situation was 'traumatising' because they 'didn't feel safe'. Although Timmy says that he is all for PDA, 36% of LGBT+ people said they don't feel comfortable walking in public while holding their partners hand. I asked in a poll if people have ever felt discriminated against by a stranger and 79% answered yes. Attacks on LGBT+ people surge almost 80% in the UK over the last four years.

LGBT+ representation is slowing increasing - not as much as I would like, but it is happening - in film and TV. According to GLAAD, of the 125 film released in 2016 only 23 (18.4%) contained characters who identified as LGBT+. That isn't a great amount really. Although Hollywood is letting us down with representation, there are quite a few shows on Netflix with some pretty awesome LGBT+ characters including: Orange is the New Black, and Sense 8. Gay men are the most represented by a significant margin of 83%. Lesbian characters have increased since 2016 by 35%, and bisexual representation has increased by 13%. Even though LGBT+ representation is increasing, it's only really increasing for white people. The racial diversity of LGBT+ characters has actually decreased, which is very disappointing. A record breaking number of LGBT+ characters appeared on US TV in 2017. 6.4% of characters on broadcast prime-time TV identified as LBGT+, with 77% of them being white. There is also more discussion about being LGBT+ with celebrities now too as more of them are coming out. Loads of A-List celebrities are openly gay and also fight for gay rights, using their social media platforms to spread information. Open LGBT+ celebrities include: David Bowie, Laverne Cox, Amandla Stenberg, Stephen Fry, Angelina Jolie, Halsey and so many more!

Troye Sivan, an Australian Youtuber and singer, used his platform in 2013 to come out as gay to his followers and fans. He did this because he thought he owed it to his fans, but also because he wanted to inspire his younger fans who are questioning themselves. In his video he talks about how he watched so many 'coming out videos' that inspired him and gave him the courage, so he wanted to do the same. 'But this is not something I'm ashamed of, and it's not something anyone should have to be ashamed of.'  The video has 7.8 million views and has a collection of really nice comments of support and also people sharing their own experiences. 

I'm 20 years old and I only really came to a solid conclusion that I am bisexual about a year ago; I spent 19 years questioning my own identity. I've never truly come out to everyone in my family either. Although I'm so certain of myself I still get nervous and worried about how people will react to me. Unfortunately, I don't think those feelings will ever go away, maybe they'll slowly minimise, but then again maybe not. From all the people I asked in my poll, 81% of them were under 21, and 67% of them knew they weren't heterosexual before they turned 13 years old. 

LGBT+ rights are something I feel very strongly about, and as someone who is a part of the LGBT+ community it affects me, and quite a few of my friends. If you are gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender or whatever you identify as then please know that you aren't alone and there are always people you can talk to:

Alternatively you can always message me on my Instagram or twitter!

Thank you for reading,
Bx

My celebrity inspirations!

I would say that I am the of the first generation that properly grew up on the internet. We are so heavily influenced by celebrities and people in the public eye. In the age of Instagram, Twitter and Snapchat it's so easy to follow what your favourite celeb is up to, and it's easy to be influenced by the lives they live. Everyone is influenced by other people, especially  celebrities whether it be a movie star, musician, sports player or reality star, it doesn't matter as long as you're not influenced to hurt yourself or other people. You do you and look up to whoever you want. 

I wanted to share some of my inspirations and why they inspire me.

1. Drew Barrymore

http://www.refinery29.uk/drew-barrymore-style-file-90s

If you know me or follow me on Instagram you'll know that Drew Barrymore is basically my favourite human being ever. I adore her! She inspires me in so many ways. Drew has been through a lot in her life, especially in her early teens. Having had addictions since the age of 9 to a suicide attempt at age 14. After suffering with mental health issues then turning her life around and becoming an award-winning actress really inspires me for many reasons.
Not to mention she inspires me hugely in the fashion department. 90's Drew Barrymore is such a fashion icon. I mean look at the above photo, iconic...
2. Carrie Fisher

Carrie Fisher is such an iconic woman. Using her platform to speak openly about her bipolar disorder and drug abuse inspires me so much. She wasn't afraid to give her opinion or say no to anyone. Using her voice to become a feminist icon I'll always look up to. There are hundreds of awesome, inspiring stories about Carrie standing up for herself and others I always love to hear. I don't there is anyone in this universe that doesn't like her and I know that she is dearly missed by a lot of people.

”I finally quit apologising for it… For being something different. For being strong. Strength is a style. But this happens in acting a lot. If you pretend something over and over, sometimes it comes true.”

Losing Carrie in December 2016 then losing her just as amazing Mother, Debbie Reynolds a couple days later hit a lot of fans hard. Carrie will always be an icon and her wise and powerful words will be used to inspire people, especially women, for years to come. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0bfF1-Svwqo

3. Beyonce

http://www.thisisinsider.com/beyonce-health-and-fitness-tips-2017-8

I think that Beyonce has inspired every woman at some point in their lives. She is always speaking for women and inspiring young girls to do what they want and become whoever they want to be. Beyonce constantly uses her platform to speak for the women who never have their voices heard, and also gives them the opportunity to be heard. She's inspiring in many ways, to many different people. Bey is truly iconic and will continue to be until the 'end of time' (get it?). Personally, Beyonce has inspired me to use my voice, and also to support what other women do and help them become anything they want.

These are just some of the celebrities who have personally inspired me in different ways. There are of course many more, and maybe I'll write another post about them, but these three lovely ladies are huge influences for me.

Thank you for reading!
Bx