Showing posts with label lifestyle blog. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lifestyle blog. Show all posts

Thursday, 3 May 2018

Being young and gay! - The reality of it


I think I have always known I wasn't 100% straight. I remember watching programmes when I was younger and only really paying attention to the girls and thinking they were pretty or I would 'fancy' women on TV more than men. I used to watch Strictly Come Dancing and not  look at the men dancers at all really, I still don't. When I started to realise this I began questioning why I thought like this; am I gay? This question has always played on my mind, I wasn't sure if I was a lesbian or bisexual. 

Throughout my life I always told people I was straight, I felt a bit ashamed I suppose. But towards the last couple years of secondary school a couple of my friends came out and were accepted by people in our friendship group. I thought that if they were accepted then I would be too; so I built up the courage to tell my closest friends I was bisexual. Like I guessed, they were totally cool with it and it was like nothing happened. 

Because of the acceptance of my friendship group I thought about telling my parents. I felt more confident telling my Mum about my sexuality. It wasn't like a sit-down situation, it was just sort of brought up in conversation and that was it really. It was pretty easy, but I knew my Mum would be okay with whatever sexuality I am. Telling my Dad wasn't as easy for me. I was so nervous, I could barely get the words out. I held it off for so long because I wasn't sure what he would say. I knew he wouldn't disown me or anything like that, but there was still something there that was preventing me from telling him. Although it wasn't as easy as telling my Mum, it went down okay and I felt a lot better afterwards. 

I know that I'm one of the really lucky ones, and not all parents are as accepting as mine. So many kids are rejected and shunned by their parents for their sexuality. 24% of the homeless youth in the UK are LGBT+. The main reasons so many young, gay people are homeless is due to parental rejection, abuse from within the family and also aggression. There are many shelters up and down the UK but they're not always easily accessible. Many charities have been set up to help fund shelters and get more LGBT+ youth off the streets and in to a safe environment, including: The Albert Kennedy Trust

Rob Stothard—Getty Images
Through a poll I shared I asked a group of LGBT youth how their parents reacted to them coming out and 73% answered that their parents accepted their sexuality and they also get along with them. This is a good statistic and I'm really please that these people had a good coming out experience. 18% answered that their parents accepted their sexuality, but not their gender identity. 

Nearly half of young LGBT+ people have considered suicide in their lives. That is a sad and shocking statistic. Mental health is also a big problem particularly for LGBT+ people as 42% have sought medical help to do with anxiety and also depression. There is a higher risk of mental health problems in young LGBT+ people compared to heterosexual people of the same age. Almost half of under 26 year old transgender people have attempted suicide. Why is mental health such a big issue for LGBT+ youth? Is it due to the lack of mental health support in the UK? Personally it took me over five attempts of talking to a doctor about my own mental health to finally be taken seriously and given the health care I really needed. I believe some people think that the struggles we go through are just trivial things that aren't really a big deal, but this is so far from the truth! 

In some places LGBT+ people still aren't even treated like human beings. Being gay is illegal in 72 countries. That is a huge amount of countries. And in 8 countries gay people can face the death penalty. Can you imagine being sentenced to death just for being in love? It's madness. Besides facing death, gay people can also end up with a 15 year prison sentence in some countries. In 2011 Radio 1 DJ, Scott Mills - an openly gay man - travelled to the African country, Uganda to document the way gay people are treated. At that time a gay person could face 14 years in prison. Many people tried to put forth the death penalty although this was changed to life in prison in 2014. During Mills' time in Uganda he met with anti-gay preachers and also gay people who are in hiding. If caught these people could be sent to prison, or even beaten to death in the street. The documentary is truly eye-opening. I found a version of it on Youtube which I'll link here. Go check it out if you have a chance. I asked a group of young LGBT+ people whether they ever feel the need to hide their sexual identity and every single one of them said yes. 100% said they feel the need to hide who they are. That is so incredibly saddening. 

Quotesgram.com
80% of LGBT+ people who have experience a hate crime due to their sexuality didn't report it to the police. Young people are also the least likely to report a hate crime because they feel that the authorities don't take their issues seriously. Seems to be a reoccurring situation that LGBT+ people aren't taken seriously. Youtuber Timmy Timato (23) made a video 3 years ago talking about a homophobic attack him and his boyfriend experienced in a shopping mall in America. In the video Timmy said that him and his partner were on an ascending escalator sharing a kiss, and on the descending escalator was a man who then started to shout homophobic comments at them. 'I'm glad we were on different escalators and safe because I don't know what would've happened, he seemed so angry.' Timmy also mentions that the situation was 'traumatising' because they 'didn't feel safe'. Although Timmy says that he is all for PDA, 36% of LGBT+ people said they don't feel comfortable walking in public while holding their partners hand. I asked in a poll if people have ever felt discriminated against by a stranger and 79% answered yes. Attacks on LGBT+ people surge almost 80% in the UK over the last four years.

LGBT+ representation is slowing increasing - not as much as I would like, but it is happening - in film and TV. According to GLAAD, of the 125 film released in 2016 only 23 (18.4%) contained characters who identified as LGBT+. That isn't a great amount really. Although Hollywood is letting us down with representation, there are quite a few shows on Netflix with some pretty awesome LGBT+ characters including: Orange is the New Black, and Sense 8. Gay men are the most represented by a significant margin of 83%. Lesbian characters have increased since 2016 by 35%, and bisexual representation has increased by 13%. Even though LGBT+ representation is increasing, it's only really increasing for white people. The racial diversity of LGBT+ characters has actually decreased, which is very disappointing. A record breaking number of LGBT+ characters appeared on US TV in 2017. 6.4% of characters on broadcast prime-time TV identified as LBGT+, with 77% of them being white. There is also more discussion about being LGBT+ with celebrities now too as more of them are coming out. Loads of A-List celebrities are openly gay and also fight for gay rights, using their social media platforms to spread information. Open LGBT+ celebrities include: David Bowie, Laverne Cox, Amandla Stenberg, Stephen Fry, Angelina Jolie, Halsey and so many more!

Troye Sivan, an Australian Youtuber and singer, used his platform in 2013 to come out as gay to his followers and fans. He did this because he thought he owed it to his fans, but also because he wanted to inspire his younger fans who are questioning themselves. In his video he talks about how he watched so many 'coming out videos' that inspired him and gave him the courage, so he wanted to do the same. 'But this is not something I'm ashamed of, and it's not something anyone should have to be ashamed of.'  The video has 7.8 million views and has a collection of really nice comments of support and also people sharing their own experiences. 

I'm 20 years old and I only really came to a solid conclusion that I am bisexual about a year ago; I spent 19 years questioning my own identity. I've never truly come out to everyone in my family either. Although I'm so certain of myself I still get nervous and worried about how people will react to me. Unfortunately, I don't think those feelings will ever go away, maybe they'll slowly minimise, but then again maybe not. From all the people I asked in my poll, 81% of them were under 21, and 67% of them knew they weren't heterosexual before they turned 13 years old. 

LGBT+ rights are something I feel very strongly about, and as someone who is a part of the LGBT+ community it affects me, and quite a few of my friends. If you are gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender or whatever you identify as then please know that you aren't alone and there are always people you can talk to:




Alternatively you can always message me on my Instagram or twitter!

Thank you for reading,
Bx




Thursday, 22 March 2018

Best shows to watch on Netflix right now!

Whether you're a steady watcher or a total binger just like me, these shows are a brilliant way to pass some time and indulge in a new fantasy. All of the shows I'm about to mention are all on UK Netflix, although I know most, if not all, of them are on the US version of Netflix too.

1.Peaky Blinders



Starring the wonderful (and gorgeous) Cillian Murphy as the leader of the Peaky Blinders, the real-life gangsters of early 1900's Birmingham. It's an action-packed show with lots of exciting scenes that leave you wanting more! With only 6 episodes per series it's a pretty easy show to binge watch; it helps that it's just soo addictive! 

It's not just full of good-looking Brummy blokes in sharp suits though. Oh no. This show is full of jaw-dropping twists and fantastic writing. Everyone in this show is amazing, especially Cillian (although he's brilliant in everything)!

http://rebloggy.com/post/skins-skins-uk-cook-gen-2-gateau/45205040336

Season 4, the latest season, aired in November on BBC 2 which means it's yet to be added to UK Netflix, though all 4 seasons are on US Netflix already. 



2. Skins




Skins is probably one of my favourite shows. It's a coming-of-age teen show that features sex, drugs, love, fall outs, death, you name it. Mental health is also heavily featured in the show. It shows the real struggles that teenagers go through.

A U.S version was made but cancelled after one season because it was too much for the U.S audience. It was rubbish anyway, nothing like the original UK version.

The show follows three different generations of teens throughout their two years at college in Bristol, South West England. There are 7 seasons all together, 2 per generation and a final 6 episode season catching up with 3 of the main characters a few years after leaving college.

http://rebloggy.com/post/skins-skins-uk-cook-gen-2-gateau/45205040336

It's funny and heart-breaking. Such a popular show when it was first released and still just as popular now with new generations of teens. I really recommend you watch it. And all episodes are on both UK and US Netflix.


3. That 70's Show




I LOVE the 70's. 70's fashion, music, movies. So when I discovered That 70's Show I was shook. It's a sitcom following 6 teenagers throughout the last 3 years of the 70's. Jackie Burkhart (Mila Kunis) is honestly one of my favourite TV characters ever.

 https://favim.com/image/5082146/

The show follows of Eric Foreman (Topher Grace), Michael Kelso (Ashton Kutcher), Steven Hyde (Danny Masterton), Donna Pinciotti (Laura Prepon), Jackie Burkhart (Mila Kunis) and Fez (Wilmer Valderrama). 

The show is hilarious and I've watched it so many times I practically know it off by heart. Plus the fashion makes my little fashion-loving heart swell with joy and love!!


4. Stranger Things



Now, I know that everyone and their Mothers have seen Stranger Things. But, there is a good reason for that... It's so good! It's a sci-fi fantasy show featuring the wonderful Winona Ryder. I'm certain you've seen at least one clip or photo from the show. Maybe this one...
https://www.festive-lights.com/blog/fun-stuff/love-stranger-things-still-keep-fairy-lights/

Yeah, I thought so. I love the drama and suspense in the show. With two season on Netflix and a third coming later in the year I can only hope that it keeps up with the dramatic scenes.

5. The Office U.S

http://www.reactiongifs.com/tag/the-office/

Although this show is no longer on UK Netflix I still had to include it on this list because it's one of, if not THE, best show I've ever watched. It's hilarious and it's filled with relatable characters. 

Michael Scott (Steve Carell) and Dwight Schrute (Rainn Wilson) make such a hilarious pair. Based on (and way better than) the UK version written and starring Ricky Gervais, this show is non stop laughs. And I know most of you would have already watched this, but if you haven't then what are you doing? Get on that! Dwight Schrute is also one of my favourite TV characters ever along with Jackie Burkhart!

You at least have to watch this clip:


These are my favourite shows that are on Netflix right now. I know there are loads of shows on Netflix I haven't watched yet or I'm in the middle of watching them, so maybe I'll do another list in a few months when I have a chance to watch some more! Also feel free to recommend me some shows and I'll for sure check them out!

Thanks for reading!
Bx

Wednesday, 21 March 2018

Cutting out toxicity - Why it's okay

I just wanted to write a quick post about toxic friendships and relationships because its been on my mind recently.

Every one at some point in their lives will come across someone or something toxic to them. That's life, but cutting people off can be tough and it's totally okay. I have cut off so many people in my life because of bad relationships with them that affected my mental health, or even theirs. 

There is nothing wrong with cutting people out of your life to feel better. Sometimes you have to think of you first and if they're doing something that you don't like, they're not very nice to you or people you know or they affect your well-being then cut them off. Tell them where to stuff it and leave. 

Some friendships and relationships don't work out and they need to come to an end to protect you or the other person. If you want to know how to spot a toxic relationship/friendship then here are some good articles that explain it:




I really recommend that you check out these posts and maybe highlight whether you're in a toxic relationship and how to over come it. 

I recently had to cut someone out of my life. I felt bad about it, but in the end I feel a lot better and my anxiety has calmed down a lot since. I'm obviously sad this person isn't going to be in my life anymore, but it was the best thing to do for both of us. And that's okay. Friends come and go and they always will, so don't force yourself to be stuck in a relationship you're not happy in; no good will ever come of that. 

You are the most important person, so if someone is upsetting you or hurting you then leave, you'll get over the friendship/relationship. There are always people you can talk to whether it be family or other healthier friends. You don't need to stay, and cutting people off can sometimes be the best thing you can do.

Thanks for reading!
Bx